28 Comments
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Camille Gregorian's avatar

She had the best smile! I love that you wrote that laughter was her rebellion. Thanks for sharing a little piece of her, and that frisky flasher, with us.

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Deborah Way's avatar

It’s like a full-body smile

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Debbie Feit's avatar

This is a beautifully written piece. So heartfelt. I was smiling as I read it.

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Deborah Way's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

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Laurel DiGangi's avatar

Thank you. I was smiling as I wrote it, too!

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Chris J. Rice's avatar

Laughter is rebellion and the best medicine.

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Deborah Way's avatar

Staking a claim

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Amie McGraham's avatar

Relatable, poignant, funny, sweet and painful. All the elements of family life.

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Deborah Way's avatar

True!

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Pamela's avatar

This is so fantastic!!

Please do not feel you failed her in any way!!

I wanted a relationship with my Mother, but she had no idea how to laugh or enjoy life after Daddy died. Her already bitter attitude at having another child when she thought she was finished(Me), not having him there to help her, there were few laughs, and even fewer chats, hugs or any type of comfort to her 3 daughters who had lost their sweet Daddy. My sisters were legal “adults” but I was the rebellious 12 year old who argued with her about everything.

I tried a few times to have a relationship with her, but it was met with some type of negative reaction.

I married young, and surprisingly I married her male counterpart.

I think all of us missed so much by losing an amazing man, but also from not having a positive relationship with our Mother.

The only thing I felt when she passed away from dementia. She had horrific hallucinations, and did not know me the last time I saw her. We all felt so sad for so many things, but the dementia she had was its own kind of hell.

You had a wonderful relationship with your mother and the joy you shared with her was I’m sure the main highlight of her difficult life.

I can say that because any conversation with my sons is the highlight of my life.

Thank you for this delightful Keepthing and the love in your words.

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Laurel DiGangi's avatar

Hello Pamela,

I'm so sorry that your mother did not provide you with the loving relationship that you--and all children--deserve. My maternal grandmother was very loving, too, so she passed on whatever was genetic or environmental to my mom. I was lucky. The type of parents we are born with are pretty much a crap shoot, right? I had issues with my father, and although we sort of "made up" in his later years, I still resent him for not being the kind and loving daddy I saw in almost every movie and TV show I watched. (Even cinematic criminals had soft spots in their hearts for little girls.) I'm glad you have great relationships with your sons, and I'm sure they feel likewise. Thank you for your kind thoughts.

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Jan Burns's avatar

What a wonderful daughter to come up with a companion for your mother to share her TV afternoons. Loved your story and your compassion for your aging mother.

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Deborah Way's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

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Laurel DiGangi's avatar

Thank you so much for reading and responding!

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Nicole Villafuerte's avatar

What a wonderful story, Laurel and beautifully written. Thank you for sharing your mom :)

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Deborah Way's avatar

Thank you for reading 💓

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Laurel DiGangi's avatar

Thanks, Nicky! Did you ever meet her? I can't remember. I know she vacationed with us on Palm a couple times.

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Nicole Villafuerte's avatar

I did! She was very sweet. I feel like I met her at least twice. I was just looking at Palm on Zillow and showing Serena. Time goes by so fast. I love your stories!

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Laurel DiGangi's avatar

Wow. Time does fly by! I have fond memories of Palm, too, and of having you as my neighbor. I enjoyed hearing you laugh when you watched The Simpsons!

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purl2.knit1's avatar

what a great fun loving memory of your Mom! Such a beautiful eulogy to her love of fun and laughter.

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Laurel DiGangi's avatar

Thanks! She was definitely a hoot.

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Deborah A Lott's avatar

This is such a terrific piece. I get such a complete and satisfying sense of who mom was and the relationship between her and her daughter. I want to read much much more of Laurel's story!

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Laurel DiGangi's avatar

Thanks, Deborah! And I think I want to write more about it (even though I've written quite a bit already). This means a lot coming from a talented writer like you.

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Deborah A Lott's avatar

I can't wait to read more. I loved the junk/junk line and seeing the photos. YOUR MOM! Wow, in my uncle's words, she looks like a "pistol." Just the right balance of humor and pathos and the flasher!!! So adorably obscene. Thanks for writing this!!!!

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Deborah Way's avatar

Adorably obscene 👍

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Laurel DiGangi's avatar

LOVE IT! Can I borrow that phrase?

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Miss DP's avatar

Gosh, I love a good laugh, and laughter sustained your mother. This essay captured that ... and for all of us with life's hard, we could learn from her. Blessings. Enjoyed this so much. The flasher on the other hand.... lol.

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Laurel DiGangi's avatar

I know. I know. He's fun to laugh at but hard to love.

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