Maybe I expect sweet remembrances when I read the Keepthings, but this well done piece reminds me that life is full of traumas and sorrows, that the tattered seams of families barely hold together their origins and connections, and, moreover, that moms do what is needed in life when little ones land in their laps and lives. How brave and kind of you to show us a side of her, even if it was with margarine and onions, that said, “home.”
One of the reasons I love The Keepthings is that a not-insignificant number of the stories deal with complicated and difficult relationships. I’m always moved by how persistent love is, even in less-than-ideal circumstances, even in terrible circumstances
So touching. As organized as my Mom was, and she was VERY, she kept her recipes on sheets of paper, cards and cut out from magazines/newspapers in a plastic bag in a bottom drawer. I have that but rarely look through it. I have gone thru it looking for recipes for my siblings and their kids. Some of them cannot be recreated as they consist of s list of ingredients and an oven temp and nothing else. I loved that you took this and have made some that you remember and even some you don't know the genesis of. It is very special and your writing about it is extremely moving! Thank you for sharing this diffcult memory with the keepsake!
The recipe for “Good Casserole” includes the instructions to “cover with plastic wrap 350F. “ I know there’s about ten steps missing.
The one that cracked me up was the stollen she always made for Easter. We thought it was an Old World recipe. Turns out it was Double Quick Tutti Frutti Quick Bread from Betty Crocker. Also, stollen is only made for Christmas. Also, it tastes nothing like this. 😂
The selection I found were varied. Oddly the one my siblings and I laughed about the most was my Grandmother's recipe for Passover Sponge Cake that just had ingredients and almost as an afterthought an oven temp. I recognized it for what it was but we knew it was Eta's because of the handwriting. She died before any of us were born and this really all we have of her. There were a ton of recipes none of us remember at all every eating...
This was very touching. I recently realized that cooking was my mother's love language, even though she belonged to the Betty Crocker era and made everything from a box or can. They loved us in the only way they knew how.
Very powerful and that photo really hit me hard too. As someone who loves to cook had a mom who cooked and I cooked for a living I know Food can definitely be both love and resentment. Thank you for this piece.
People with buried trauma act it out in all kinds of ways. My aunt was pissed at my dad for something he did when they were all in their early twenties. Her husband (my dad’s brother) would always press us to come visit. Which we did. And she would apparently “not have enough for us to eat.” Which my mom resented. And of course no one ever talked about it or apologized for anything. 🤦🏼♀️
"She was a highly competent cook who took no joy in cooking." So interesting - I remember being so stunned when one of my aunts, who no doubt cooked every day of her life and was among the best cooks I have ever encountered, told me how much she hated cooking.
This, too, was my mother from the not sweet to the recipe box (I still have) to the endless hours feed five kids and "Dad" to oleo to the unfinished business that remained unfinished. Lovely piece. Stephanie are you still here in CT? I see you on Binders.
Hi Char, thanks you so much for telling me all the ways this resonated for you. I feel like I understand my mom so much better now after writing about her. I live in SoCal now, but CT will always hold a little place in my heart.
What a great story. So many similarities to my own ad she described everything beautifully. Not filled with sap, but the message was there. Thanks for posting.
Stephanie, thank you for your honesty and heartfelt words. You did a beautiful job of showing us your mother and the struggles you shared. I, too, am no stranger to things unsaid and unforgiven. Time has softened the edges as it has for you.
Sad story. I have a recipe box like that too from my grandmother. I love that Stephanie works her way through it. My grandmother wasn't that good a cook.
This made me think of my mom and grandmother's recipe boxes and wonder where they went! I do have cards my grandmother wrote by hand listing her favorite dishes, and when I use them, I feel a connection to her. Thank you for sharing glimpses of your mother with us through her recipe box. I could smell those onions!
Maybe I expect sweet remembrances when I read the Keepthings, but this well done piece reminds me that life is full of traumas and sorrows, that the tattered seams of families barely hold together their origins and connections, and, moreover, that moms do what is needed in life when little ones land in their laps and lives. How brave and kind of you to show us a side of her, even if it was with margarine and onions, that said, “home.”
One of the reasons I love The Keepthings is that a not-insignificant number of the stories deal with complicated and difficult relationships. I’m always moved by how persistent love is, even in less-than-ideal circumstances, even in terrible circumstances
Aw, Ginevra, this is such a lovely comment. I loved my mom AND she broke my heart. 💔
So touching. As organized as my Mom was, and she was VERY, she kept her recipes on sheets of paper, cards and cut out from magazines/newspapers in a plastic bag in a bottom drawer. I have that but rarely look through it. I have gone thru it looking for recipes for my siblings and their kids. Some of them cannot be recreated as they consist of s list of ingredients and an oven temp and nothing else. I loved that you took this and have made some that you remember and even some you don't know the genesis of. It is very special and your writing about it is extremely moving! Thank you for sharing this diffcult memory with the keepsake!
The recipe for “Good Casserole” includes the instructions to “cover with plastic wrap 350F. “ I know there’s about ten steps missing.
The one that cracked me up was the stollen she always made for Easter. We thought it was an Old World recipe. Turns out it was Double Quick Tutti Frutti Quick Bread from Betty Crocker. Also, stollen is only made for Christmas. Also, it tastes nothing like this. 😂
!!!
There were SO MANY JELLO RECIPES. Thanks for sending this lovely comment. (My mom taught me to knit left-handed. Love your screen name!)
The selection I found were varied. Oddly the one my siblings and I laughed about the most was my Grandmother's recipe for Passover Sponge Cake that just had ingredients and almost as an afterthought an oven temp. I recognized it for what it was but we knew it was Eta's because of the handwriting. She died before any of us were born and this really all we have of her. There were a ton of recipes none of us remember at all every eating...
A plastic bag in a bottom drawer is very funny. I love that this story is prompting so many other stories with so many different feelings attached 💓
She was SO VERY organized that her recipe collection (such as it was) always confounded us.
This was very touching. I recently realized that cooking was my mother's love language, even though she belonged to the Betty Crocker era and made everything from a box or can. They loved us in the only way they knew how.
Exactly this, Laurie. 💔
Well said!
I feel every word of this, right down to the rushed clean-out of her belongings.
Yeah, that is just the worst.
Very powerful and that photo really hit me hard too. As someone who loves to cook had a mom who cooked and I cooked for a living I know Food can definitely be both love and resentment. Thank you for this piece.
You captured it perfectly, Char.
Food as resentment: that’s powerful and not something I’d ever considered.
People with buried trauma act it out in all kinds of ways. My aunt was pissed at my dad for something he did when they were all in their early twenties. Her husband (my dad’s brother) would always press us to come visit. Which we did. And she would apparently “not have enough for us to eat.” Which my mom resented. And of course no one ever talked about it or apologized for anything. 🤦🏼♀️
Definitely, the unhealed keeps on giving. 🙏🏼
"She was a highly competent cook who took no joy in cooking." So interesting - I remember being so stunned when one of my aunts, who no doubt cooked every day of her life and was among the best cooks I have ever encountered, told me how much she hated cooking.
Thanks for reading Gisele!
To me a recipe box would set the stage for cheerier childhood memories, so I was taken aback by how you turned expectation on its head. Well done!
Thank you Jan. 🩷
Beautiful, Stephanie!
Thank you for reading 💓
💔
This is so lovely.
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for taking the time to comment, Rebecca.
This, too, was my mother from the not sweet to the recipe box (I still have) to the endless hours feed five kids and "Dad" to oleo to the unfinished business that remained unfinished. Lovely piece. Stephanie are you still here in CT? I see you on Binders.
Hi Char, thanks you so much for telling me all the ways this resonated for you. I feel like I understand my mom so much better now after writing about her. I live in SoCal now, but CT will always hold a little place in my heart.
Nurturing the way they can. So compelling and true. Thank you.
Yes ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Chris.
What a great story. So many similarities to my own ad she described everything beautifully. Not filled with sap, but the message was there. Thanks for posting.
I try to leave out the sap whenever possible. LOL Dorothy.
Thanks for reading, Dorothy. The Keepthings strives to be anti-sap!
such a sad story, beautifully captured.
Thank you for reading 💓
Appreciate you, Julie.
Stephanie, thank you for your honesty and heartfelt words. You did a beautiful job of showing us your mother and the struggles you shared. I, too, am no stranger to things unsaid and unforgiven. Time has softened the edges as it has for you.
Time so often feels like an enemy. I’m glad it’s been a friend to you ❤️
Thank you, Nancy.
Sad story. I have a recipe box like that too from my grandmother. I love that Stephanie works her way through it. My grandmother wasn't that good a cook.
That last bit made me laugh 🙂
Alice, I appreciate you taking the time to comment and share.
This made me think of my mom and grandmother's recipe boxes and wonder where they went! I do have cards my grandmother wrote by hand listing her favorite dishes, and when I use them, I feel a connection to her. Thank you for sharing glimpses of your mother with us through her recipe box. I could smell those onions!
Thank you, Doreen.