30 Comments
User's avatar
Allison Tait's avatar

wow, that's a lovely piece. The container being what it is really moving, but also having the worlds and label half scratched off give it a true sense of something different. Thanks for sharing.

Kelli  Dunham's avatar

I almost didn't include that part. But it's all part of the complications around death and how we remember people! Thanks for letting me know I made the right choice. And thanks for your lovely comment.

Allison Tait's avatar

I think it was a great call to include!

Deborah Way's avatar

Thank you for reading💓

Kate Walter's avatar

This is one of the best pieces I have read here and certainly ties in with June as pride month.

Deborah Way's avatar

The timing did work out well ❤️ 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Kelli  Dunham's avatar

Thanks so much. I really enjoyed working on this, it's such an interesting way to celebrate someone we love. And it's so....tangible.

Ellen Hoover's avatar

Thankful that there are people like Heather out there, and people like Kelli who introduce us to them.

Deborah Way's avatar

💓💓💓

JR's avatar

Such a moving piece. I could taste Cozy Shack pudding just looking at the container -- and appreciate her choice (in both pudding and partner).

Kelli  Dunham's avatar

I still eat Kozy Shack pudding! For a while after Heather died, people would try to protect me from it, jumping in front of their refrigerator like a character in an action movie: "nooooooooo." But I ate some about six weeks post-death. If she had put the medication in broccoli, maybe I would have made a different choice. But pudding is awesome, grief doesn't get to keep pudding! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. That means a lot.

Deborah Way's avatar

A motto for us all! “Grief doesn’t get to keep pudding!” 👏👏👏

Ginevra Blake's avatar

Loved this recounting of Heather’s love of life. Thank you.

Deborah Way's avatar

Well-said 💓

Nancy Laura Joseph's avatar

TANW (There Are No Words acronym post 2014 Mystikal experience). Thank you HUGE. Facebooked ur posting asap. I flashed on number of related memories, tearing up in deep appreciation.💞 I do need to write those memories. I write for living. As in use writing to keep me honest, and possibly sane. Namaste.

Kelli  Dunham's avatar

It's amazing what writing can do for us, isn't it? I had someone once ask me how I could be writing and performing about Heather (and my subsequent partner, who I also lost to cancer) and I was stumped, like, um, I really don't know what people who don't write personal essays or perform stand-up comedy do with all their pain! That seems inscrutable to me!

Corrie's avatar

I love this so much -- what it says and how it's written. Thank you for sharing your memories of your wonderful partner and the lessons she taught you, especially "that there is no prize for choosing difficulty for difficulty’s sake!" I'm going to embrace that, too!

Kelli  Dunham's avatar

The difficulty for difficulty's sake: I think about this a lot. Sometimes we're socialized that way, sometimes we absorb it from our families, sometimes it's specifically cultural. AND I've noticed when people who already have easier lives (comparatively, folks at the top of the food chain so to speak) have a choice between applesauce and pudding, they're not afraid to choose the pudding! Thanks for the kind words and absorbing the memories!

Deborah Way's avatar

💯 💓

Beth Lapides's avatar

love

Kelli  Dunham's avatar

Thanks for the connection!!!!

Beth Lapides's avatar

truly my pleasure! 🧩🧩

Nancy Laura Joseph's avatar

TANW (There Are No Words acronym post 2014 Mystikal experience). Thank you HUGE. Facebooked ur posting asap. I flashed on number of related memories, tearing up in deep appreciation.💞 I do need to write those memories. I write for living. As in use writing to keep me honest, and possibly sane. Namaste.

Chris J. Rice's avatar

Thank you.

Tami DeLand's avatar

This is beautiful.

Jan Burns's avatar

Wow! What a vivid display of love and beauty. And definitely chocolate over applesauce! My niece and I mixed up a concoction for my sister when she was ready to go. She took one sip and peacefully left us but we opted not to keep the receptacle.

Ilene Angel's avatar

What a beautiful piece and reminder to accept and love our own quirkiness. Thank you so much for sharing Heather with us.

Sharon Senkiew's avatar

Thank you for sharing wonderful Heather with us!❤️

Nycphoenix's avatar

This is a beautiful piece. I'm looking at the multiple objects I have to remember people and I hope I can do justice to them as you do for Heather and Cheryl.