“I can still see her in a white eyelet bustier, acid-washed shorts, oversized gold earrings and red lipstick. And her hair: By the time she was a young adult, it had become her glory."
Shavaun, I'm so sorry. And I'm so glad you have such crisp memories of the childhood and early adulthood you shared.
My friend Alyson Shelton and co-editor Lynn Shattuck have recently published an anthology on grieving a sibling: The Loss of a Lifetime (http://lossofalifetime.com). I hear your story among those in this collection, and if I knew your address, I'd mail it to you. Big hug.
I just went over to that site and looked at that book. I love what those people have put together. I am one of four and we are all in our seventies, but when I was in 8th grade, my best friend lost her eight year old brother in an accident. Experiencing that family’s grief first hand rocked my view of the world and changed their lives. I had never seen such crushing grief. They all crawled up inside themselves. It was awful. They ended up moving away to change living where they experienced that loss. I lost touch with her post college. They were a changed family.
You captured your sister's short life beautifully. It's obvious that the love you have for her remains and the fact that you can feel that connection through something as small as a comb is so telling. Losses like this "scar" us and fade but never disappear. It is good that you dwell on the happy childhood you both shared!
A beautiful tribute to your sister. Losing a sibling is a crushing experience, and then we have grieving parents who are never the same. May your sister’s light and love carry on in your heart.
Argh. I was reading this and hoping that she lived a long time.
The photo of the comb should have told me.
The gaping hole that she left in your life can never be filled. What a loss and what an absolute tragic and sad end. Snuffed out like that breaks my heart.
She was beautiful and memorable. What a loss for you and your family.
Thanks for writing such a tribute to her. She lives in this!!!
I didn't see that coming. I was so absorbed in the beauty of your sisterly relationship. But I guess you didn't see it coming either. Seems the tragic shock never goes away, even all these years later. I am glad you still use Alli's comb and remember her daily.
I relived a little bit of my life with my sister reading about you and yours. She was beautiful and her death tragic and senseless. I am so sorry. I love that you use her comb every day. It's a tiny, consistent connection. ♥️
Shavaun, I'm so sorry. And I'm so glad you have such crisp memories of the childhood and early adulthood you shared.
My friend Alyson Shelton and co-editor Lynn Shattuck have recently published an anthology on grieving a sibling: The Loss of a Lifetime (http://lossofalifetime.com). I hear your story among those in this collection, and if I knew your address, I'd mail it to you. Big hug.
I just went over to that site and looked at that book. I love what those people have put together. I am one of four and we are all in our seventies, but when I was in 8th grade, my best friend lost her eight year old brother in an accident. Experiencing that family’s grief first hand rocked my view of the world and changed their lives. I had never seen such crushing grief. They all crawled up inside themselves. It was awful. They ended up moving away to change living where they experienced that loss. I lost touch with her post college. They were a changed family.
“crawled up inside themselves” is gorgeous, proving that awful events CAN be described in beautiful prose. Thank you.
Small world! I actually attend several of Lisa Cooper Ellison's workshops and attended one in which she held a sort of launch party for them!
You captured your sister's short life beautifully. It's obvious that the love you have for her remains and the fact that you can feel that connection through something as small as a comb is so telling. Losses like this "scar" us and fade but never disappear. It is good that you dwell on the happy childhood you both shared!
A beautiful tribute to your sister. Losing a sibling is a crushing experience, and then we have grieving parents who are never the same. May your sister’s light and love carry on in your heart.
this is so true 💔
I so appreciate your comment, Ginevra!
Argh. I was reading this and hoping that she lived a long time.
The photo of the comb should have told me.
The gaping hole that she left in your life can never be filled. What a loss and what an absolute tragic and sad end. Snuffed out like that breaks my heart.
She was beautiful and memorable. What a loss for you and your family.
Thanks for writing such a tribute to her. She lives in this!!!
Thank you so much!
A beautiful tribute to your beautiful sister. I'm so sorry.
Thank you very much.
It is so hard to lose a sibling. You've honored her memory beautifully.
It sure is! Thank you very much!
Amazing essay. I am so sorry for this deep grief and loss. You captured this moment in time beautifully.
Thank you so much, Julie. I appreciate your feedback.
POW! Thank you for being brave enough to write this.
Lisa, thank you for reading!
I didn't see that coming. I was so absorbed in the beauty of your sisterly relationship. But I guess you didn't see it coming either. Seems the tragic shock never goes away, even all these years later. I am glad you still use Alli's comb and remember her daily.
❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, Jan. What an insightful comment...
I relived a little bit of my life with my sister reading about you and yours. She was beautiful and her death tragic and senseless. I am so sorry. I love that you use her comb every day. It's a tiny, consistent connection. ♥️
yes to this ❤️
Oh thank you, Cindy!
A beautifully written essay about your beautiful sister. I’m so sorry for your loss.💔
Sharon, thank you!
Alli. 💔 May her memory be a blessing. ((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))
Oh thank you so much!
Thank you for sharing this most heartfelt message. Alli lives on through you, your children and Brittany. What a wonderful legacy.
Alli was a beautiful soul and your relationship was a testament to the love and connection siblings can offer.
You are an amazing person and I am very grateful that I can call you family. I love you, Shavaun.